What a lovely afternoon....

Today's Silly Sign

Today's silly sign.  Thanks to Joshua Braff for this photo!

Today's Humorous Nugget

These jokes that land in my in-box.......from time to time I get one that affords me a good laugh.....

 

"A little old lady from  Wisconsin had worked in and around her family dairy farms since she was old enough to walk, with hours of hard work and little compensation.

When canned Carnation Milk became available in grocery stores in the 1940s, she read an advertisement offering $5,000 for the best slogan.  The producers wanted a rhyme beginning with 'Carnation Milk is best of all.'

She thought to herself, I know everything there is to know about milk and dairy farms.  I can do this!  She sent in her entry, and several weeks later, a black car pulled up in front of her house.

 

A large man got out, knocked on her door and said, 'Ma'am,.....The president of Carnation milk absolutely LOVED your entry.....So much, in fact, that we are here to award you $1,000 even though we will not be able to use it for our advertisements!'

 

He did, however, have one printed up to hang on his office wall.....

 

 True story!!!"

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Save the Earth, it's the only planet with chocolate.






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Today's Silly Sign

 

A Miscellany of Hilarity

As so-called 'Snowmageddon' continues to sprinkle us with light snow, I find myself unable to leave work for lunch, so this is how I choose to amuse myself for that half-hour.  (Is it just me, or do they make way more of a fuss about snowstorms than they used to?)  I can't answer for the conditions of the roads further out in the country, but will assume they are not so good as I am the only person at work today!

If your only source of entertainment happens to be a computer, and you're fairly easily amused, try this!  Go to any on-line translation site and type in a line of text,  (nursery rhymes seem to work well for some reason, I think because they have lots of verbs and adjectives) then translate it through a few different languages and then back to English.  Some of the results can be very entertaining!  Here's a couple of my favorites;

"Hey diddle diddle the cat plays the fiddle, the cow jumped over the moon.  The little dog laughed to see such sport and the plate ran away with the spoon." becomes, after translating it through French, German and another language that I now can't even remember and back to English -

"The fiddle which does the cat which just a little swindles, swindles the cow which has jumped to month.  You laughed the puppy seat in order to look at that it escapes due to that kind of sport and the plate spoon."

Here's what happened to "Jack be nimble" after multiple translations;

"Jack of (vertok) jack is rapid, the jump of jack above the knob of candle."

You get the idea....try it for yourself!

Another thing that gets me laughing is that variety of mangled English which is written in all innocence to mean one thing but carries another connotation because of the, well, mangled English!  Many of us who enjoy this kind of thing have seen these actual church bulletins before, but they're worth laughing at again....here are a couple of my favorites, which allegedly actually have appeared on the bulletin boards of churches!

"The sermon this morning; Jesus walks on the water.  The sermon tonight; seaching for Jesus."

"The Peacemaking Meeting scheduled for today has been cancelled due to a conflict."

"Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again', giving obvious pleasure to the congregation."

"The Rector will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing 'Break Forth into Joy'."

"At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What is Hell?'.  Come early and listen to our choir practise."

"The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday."

Newspapers aren't immune to this either......here are one or two of my favorite stupid headlines from over the years!

In the classifieds of our local newspaper - "100 year old chickens for sale."

From a gardening column of a well-known British paper - "Child's stool great for use in garden."

And here's a classic, a doctor notes on a patients chart - "Large pale stool perambulating in hall."  Funny how just the omission of one comma makes this hysterically funny....if, as I say you're as easily amused as I am.

Recently I received an e-mail containing a whole collective of new newspaper foolishness, and here are a couple of my favorites!

 

 

 

 

 

 

More Silly Signs....

Not photos I took, nonetheless they landed in my inbox this AM as part of a widely circulated piece of e-mail.  So my apologies if you've seen these already!  If not, enjoy!

 
It isn't just teenagers who are making way too much use of the word 'like' in conversation!

 

 
For some reason, this one reminds me of a sign I once saw in a shop, it said 'Unsupervised children will be caged and sold.'  Alas, I didn't photograph it.

 

 
'Also, the bridge is out ahead.'  Danger all around, folks!  The bridge is out, the sign is sharp....there's kind of a chicken/egg thing going on here actually.  The warning about the bridge just seems like such an afterthought....but obviously no one would put up a sign just to say it was sharp and not to touch it.....? 

 

Today's Cartoon....

I wasn't sure how to categorize this post, but eventually decided it belonged under the humor title.  Although what I find humorous tends to occasionally offend other people.  This cartoon however is interesting because I have this issue with boiling something alive, I don't care if it is 'just' a crustacean.    Why is it acceptable to boil one species alive but horrifying to do it to another life-form?  Because lobsters taste delicious it makes it OK?  Are all living things not an extension of the life force, the same life force?   How DID humans end up on the top of the pile, anyway?

 

Silly Signs

I'm amassing a collection of odd or amusing signs that I happen upon during the course of my travels.  If you have some of these too, send them along, and I'll include them in a future silly signs posting.  In the meantime, here are a few to get us started.

 

 
These universal symbol things are always good for a laugh.  Yes, we all know this says 'Clean up after your dog!'   But the human figure looks as though it's holding a cooler in which it was trying to catch the dogs poop before it hit the ground.   And all dog owners know that the dog figure's position is not the usual dog-taking-a-crap stance.....I don't know, it's just funny!

 

 
Well, Duh!!

 

 
Is it just me, or is there an element of sarcasm here...?  'Welcome to Assumption.'  I'm sure a boss has said that to me at some point in my working career.  My apologies if anyone lands here who happens to live in the good town of Assumption.  I assume you know that the intent is not to make fun of your town's name.  Yeah, well, welcome to assumption! 

 

 
Saving the best until last.  No need to explain why this is funny.  I wonder if exoic deer are more fun to feed than normal deer, or even exotic deer.  Thank you, Sarah Barba, for letting me use your hilarious photograph for this post!

We can all use a laugh now and again, no?

We've all seen these before......but what the hell, they're just funny!

Well, who knew....?

Why the head and shoulders symbol......?

Awww!!

Hmmm....this one scares me a little, actually..... 

And being perfectly honest here...I don't even know what this is supposed to mean!
 

 
  

It's been years since I first saw this and it still makes me laugh.

http://www.safenow.org/